soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
