Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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