Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
