there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
