I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
