Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Randomize
