you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
