I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I did not marry a roomba.
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