WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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