Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
