So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
