sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I CAN MOONWALK!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
