Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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