I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
