Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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