I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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