either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
