i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
