Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so let's talk penis.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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