I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
