sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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