stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I love having hate sex.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize