Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She bit a glass in half.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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