apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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