ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He? As in you personified your dick?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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