stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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