i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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