Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize