I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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