did you get engaged???
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
