So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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