Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
