oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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