just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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