I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
