Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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