Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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