i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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