Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
