I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Randomize
