Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
