come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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