the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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