Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
