is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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