I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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