Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
