i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize