He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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