What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I bet he comes in French.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
