Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize