***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
