walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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