I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
