Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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