ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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