Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
