If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Randomize
