I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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