Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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