girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
